68 - We're No Angels

Connection To THE BIG WEDDING - Robert De Niro, wasting him on two lesser films I suppose.

I do remember that I saw We're No Angels when I was little, I remember the video cover, us renting it, even it been on, but honestly there is no memory of it, it's something I've always being meaning to revisit and not have left it I guess almost 25 year-ish

When I was little I obviously had no idea of flops and I kind of wish I didn't go through the period of reading reviews that would decide everything I watched, because it really is a better thing sometimes into a film quite blind other then little things like actors etc, you'll be surprised at how many films you'll enjoy then read up afterwards - you mean I wasn't supposed to like that.

Watching this in 2014, it's hard to believe this was at the time a rare venture in comedy for De Niro, considering it seems like every other film he does now is one and he is paired with the similarly serious Sean Penn (who at least had an iconic role in a comedy - Fast Times At Ridgemont High - by then), but I don't know something tells me I'm not exactly going to be watching a rip-roaring comedy when I start We're No Angels.

It's not bad but for a comedy it's rarely funny - which is one of the things you want most from a comedy, but oddly as long as the film is enjoyable it's not a total deal breaker - it certainly should be better though for the talents involved behind the camera (directed Neil Jordan and written by motherfucking David Mamet) and in the front. It mostly feels like there is more tension in whether they will get caught out then the humour.

The female lead is Demi Moore - so It's got 80's Demi Moore since this came out in 1989 - I don't know I tend to not find her as attractive once it's the 90's - she was cuter to me (see also One Crazy Summer, No Small Affair).

Overall, this film feels like a watch once unless I totally don't remember it in another nearly 25 years then it will get seen again, you can't fault the actors or anything but it's missing a spark for me.

Last note - today film-wise ends up being a disappointing day as nothing was that brilliant.

67 - The Big Wedding

Connection To ANYWHERE BUT HERE - Susan Sarandon

Now this is a film that's opening scene that has the opening scene of Robert De Niro about to do cunnilingus on Susan Sarandon before Diane Keaton disrupts it, picture this scene mentally how you will and you're welcome.

Honestly it was weigh up watching this film... on one hand I absolutely love Amanda Seyfried to bits, but on the other hand something about Katherine Heigl just drives me the wrong way (I honestly think it's some of the things she said), in the end despite the negative reviews I decided to risk it.

The Big Wedding as a sit-com plot where a now divorced couple have to pretend to still be married for the Colombian mother of there adopted son, so honestly the film could have been over within 20 minutes just by telling his mother the truth.

The truth is with The Big Wedding is that it keeps verging on being funny, there are genuinely fleeting funny moments but honestly the rest of the movie just falls short, I predictably wrongly that the father (Robert De Niro) would be caught "cheating" with his current girlfriend (Susan Sarandon) by the son's real mother, his divorced wife his played by Diane Keaton, who as you remember co-starred with De Niro in The Godfather Part II - how things change.

The rest of the cast - the kids including Topher Grace, a 29 year old virgin doctor who falls for his adopted brother's real sister, Katherine Heigl as the sister who is Heigl like and I don't know if it was a plot twist that she was pregnant all along and didn't know it because I could see it coming a mile off, Ben Barnes is the adopted son who's going to be marrying Amanda Seyfried - who is underused as far as I'm concerned - and we also get Robin Williams along for the ride as an ex-AA buddy of De Niro and now a priest who probably is in the best scenes of the film.

Overall is a film that is seriously lacking something, the cast aren't bad when it comes down to it but the material is trying but none of it fits together, you can live your life without seeing this movie.

66 - Anywhere But Here

Connection To THE JOYRIDERS - the three young "joyriders" of that movie all actually appear in this and it's from the same year (1999), so it's a connection between Shawn Hatosy, Elisabeth Moss or Heather McComb... you know what I'll go with McComb, you never know the two might come in handy at a later date.

Natalie Portman came onto the scene in astonishing style with Léon (as I knew it here in the UK or you might know it as The Professional) with a great performance as Matildha, she followed it up soon with roles in Heat (small but memorable), Mars Attacks and Everyone Says I Love - which I know you could argue on the quality of them last two movies but the them three films all had astonishing cast lists, during this time she also stole the show in the lesser-scene Beautiful Girls, by 1999 she would turn 18 so she would be categorized not a child actress anymore and the most famous for her that year was Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace, not a bad career choice from a certain point of view, but if this was some people's first experience of her they would genuinely think what a wooden actress she is, the same year she would make Anywhere But Here and if I was writing this in 1999 you could start to think maybe a question in a few years to come will be - whatever happened to Natalie Portman?

I need to start this next paragraph by saying I'm roughly the same age as Natalie Portman, well she is a year-ish older then me, the reason I had to start with that is that I have had a crush on Natalie Portman for so long now, spanning 3 decades (I always like saying stuff like that), probably since 1997/98 so she really is an age appropriate crush for me, I had cut out pictures of her on my bedroom wall, and as the years have gone the crush as never really gone away, even if other actresses have been let in and being allowed to share that affection - I didn't want people thinking I was a dirty old man well I write because I imagine some of how the movie is viewed is seen from how I was in my teenage years.

Anywhere But Here, along with Where The Heart Is, the following year is what I have always considered the period where she was in danger of falling into "safe" pictures, where the films are not necessarily bad but are just not the most challenging pictures - perhaps what you see is what you get.

ABH (what I'll call it from now on) as teenage daughter (Portman) and flighty mother (Susan Sarandon) upping sticks from a small town to California, hence the title of the film because it's not exactly where Portman wants to be, so most of the film is Portman moping (of missing home) or challenging her mother while she in return does stuff on the spare of the moment or insist they go for ice cream

Among the events in the movie has her cousin Shawn Hatosy SPOILER die during the movie, which seems like death by plot convenience to me to get a sad reaction from you as the audience member END OF SPOILER.

Perhaps the most effective scene for me is because I am child of divorce and my dad didn't want me is the scene where Portman is on the phone to her father who really wants nothing to do with her, I'm not sure how this scene would play to other people but me for I really identified with her.

Sadly a more interesting movie is presented when we saw Thora Birch in her underwear in her photo and then we learn Natalie Portman was the one who took it, am I alone in thinking that would be a better movie??? (get out of her you pervert)

Overall I can see why somebody with a different taste in movies would really like it but despite the lovely Portman it's just not the movie for me at the end of the day, and it's not that I disliked it I found it mainly okay despite decent performances from Portman and Sarandon.

65 - The Joyriders

Connection To METEOR - Martin Landau.

I actually put The Joyriders on knowing nothing other then it starred Martin Landau and Shawn Hatosy and it was called The Joyriders, so it's rare I go into a film totally blind not even knowing the plot, but here goes.

The film is about a suicidal elderly man (Landau) who ends up getting "kidnapped" by three wayward teens (Hatosy, Elisabeth Moss and Heather McComb) and though I predicted the direction the film was going to go (that they would start to identify with each other, care for each other etc.) I ended up really liking it once it get, I wish it would just get there a touch sooner.

I had a problem with the "kidnapping" which I have put in quotes because the film still wants you to identify with these characters that it's really something that is out of the kids control, it kind of doesn't make sense though how they end up taking Landau, mostly because it doesn't seem in their character until it actually happens.

The 4 leads characters gelled together really well particularly Landau with Moss - the more naive, sweetheart of the trio (Hatosy more immature and McComb more live wire) and she plays the sort of character you could fall in love with simply because she is so undeniably sweet even if her life as gone to shit. There is a good smaller role for Kris Kristofferson as a friendly preacher, he's enjoyable for the time he's on screen. The sole bad casting for me was Diane Venora as Moss' mother she just didn't deliver a very good performance.

Overall, the first part is not a bad film but the second part is very good, the longer the film goes the more you start to feel for the characters and by the end you are hoping for a happy ending for everyone.

64 - Meteor

Connection To O.K. Connery - Sean's brother Neil starred in that movie, I have decided to do family connection, on only one condition, if the relative is far, far less successful and it's very likely they are involved in film at all if it wasn't for the success of said relative.

I have such affection for the disaster movies of the 1970's, especially if it has Irwin Allen's name attached to it - I am SOLD - The Poseidon Adventure, The Towering Inferno are both to me bonafide classics - I just love them putting all-star casts in the middle of something catastrophic (be it man made or nature) and other non-Allen films ended up following suit, Meteor is one of them and ended up flopping and receiving a lot of negative write-ups but I am writing this bit before watching it (and having never seen it) - I am just hoping the 70's disaster movie charm follows on for me, so fingers crossed...

Meteor actually wasn't as bad as I heard, sure there was plenty of scenes where the main characters seemed to be just stood around staring at computer screens, and random cut backs to the meteor itself just really there floating in space - I've also heard people knock the special effects which to me whilst they did come post-Star Wars they still had their charm, the destruction of Hong Kong and later part of New York (the WTC is among the building seen destroyed).

I enjoyed an whole bunch of performances, which probably is where a lot of the budget went because it's a famous cast, one of my favourite scenes is Martin Landau as the general just throwing a proper hissy fit, besides that he is actually my favourite performance of the. The two leads are Sean Connery and Natalie Wood who have decent chemistry even if the dialogue handed to them to speak isn't the best. Wood is somebody I am big of anyway so I am touch bias there.

Overall far from perfect but not as bad as it's been lead to believe, I feel like say this often but if 20 minutes or so was shaved off the film would be tighter and a better experience for it.

63 - O.K. Connery (Operation Kid Brother)

Connection To FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY - These are both inspired by/rip-offing/parodying James Bond.

The name's Connery... Neil Connery... I think it's quite apt Neil Connery stars in the movie because it almost feels like a James Bond movie but not quite, like a knock-off toy where you can see enough resemblance you could get fooled by it from a distance.

Neil Connery is the younger brother of Sean, and wasn't an actor, I mean that in the way that he had no such plans to follow into the field like his brother, he seemed to be in the plastering business before an opportune producer - Dario Sabotello - saw him and saw that he resembled his brother enough - and thus was born the eurospy movie O.K. Connery (or Operation Kid Brother) which actually brought along 2 James Bond regulars Bernard Lee (M in the Bond movies) and Lois Maxwell (Moneypenny) as well Daniela Blanchi (From Russia With Love), Adolf Celli (Thunderball) and Anthony Dawson (Dr. No/From Russia With Love), you see what I mean by those resemblances?

Neil Connery (which is the name of the character he plays) is in this film the brother of an important agent and makes little references here and there to who it possibly could be, his skills are not really as a secret agent but rather as a hypnotist but he is good at archery and kung fu. Thankfully the hypnotist scenes are to get information and there is never a icky scene where he seduces a woman into bed because of it.

The film has a pretty good Bond-soundalike score, Ennio Morricone was one of the films composers (along with Bruno Nicolai) and is one of my favourites of all time so I am biased.

Then there is a bunch of showgirls fighting a bunch of soldiers and winning and then turning the truck into something really called - The Wild Pussy Truck - it's a short scene but I loved it/ It was also fun seeing some of the Bond alumni in this, Maxwell gets more to do then she ever did in the Bond films, while Lee as Commander Cunningham might as well have been called M, but he too pops up more then he did in the Bond films.

Overall I found it an enjoyable movie. I think it's because of how much I enjoy Bond movies that it was fun seeing a film have such bare cheek of using the successful name of that franchise for it's own gain, not a good film by any stretch of the imagination though.

62 - For Y'ur Height Only

Connection To DISASTER MOVIE - humour me on this one, Disaster Movie features a little version of Indiana Jones, whilst this movie is a take on James Bond with a tiny person, I think it's a good enough connection.

I don't think until now I have actually seen any Philippines cinema, I've seen plenty much of Asian cinema and I've seen plenty of stuff that was filmed in the country (an impressive amount of cool stuff) - For Y'ur Height Only (aka Agent 00) is perhaps one of the most infamous to come from that country thanks to featuring a diminutive star - Weng Weng.

Weng Weng is the shortest action star in the history of cinema (lead role at least) and that lies the appeal, because he really isn't half bad at martial arts considering, though him doing the martial arts are some of the least appealing things of the movie because they can get repetitive but are still worth watching.

The bad guy is called Mr. Giant who you would believe is really tall, but he's not he's dwarf (while Weng is a midget) - Mr. Giant's plan of using something called the N Bomb is never really gone into, I guess we just have to believe it's bad.

The similarities to Bond including the very opening, the gadgets that will come into play later and the seduction of women (the scene in question is not very erotic). The film's most entertaining scene for me is after leaving his bosses office I was expecting a bit of Bond/Moneypenny flirting but instead we got him putting on x-ray glasses and looking at the secretaries nude (we see nothing) then him putting his hand to his face like an embarrassed schoolboy. Another memorable bit is Agent 00 using a tiny jet pack which just looked incredibly awesome in my eyes.

I've got to say the dubbing is done with so little enthusiasm that it comes across as a film where everybody is lacking any sort of chemistry with each other.

Overall such a fun (puts on shades) little movie (sorry), it knows it's all a bit silly so has fun with it's scenes and it was a very enjoyable experience for me.