42 - Body Slam

Connection To THE CANNONBALL RUN - Director Hal Needham.

Up until the 2008's The Wrestler, films about wrestling where consider bad - Ready To Rumble and No Holds Barred are two productions funded by wrestling companies themselves which in the case of Ready To Rumble made their fans out to be idiots. The (then) WWF produced No Holds Barred, wCw produced Ready To Rumble in 2000 and an insane attempt at cross-promotion put the companies world title on the star David Arquette, in an unrelated matter wCw which made 60 million in 1996 went out of business the year after after Ready To Rumble (the WWE brought them out if you didn't know), whilst No Holds Barred had the attempt of cross-promoting the match on PPV with Zeus (Tommy Lister) wanting to get revenge in a WWF ring - the audiences for both the film and these promotion tactics didn't really go for it.

I should mention now - for over 20 years I've been a wrestling fan - not as a guilty pleasure I'll happily admit it, I've been to live events multiple times, owned videos, DVDs, figures (even as an adult), autographs, so yeah I've had all the years of it's fake etc - which is probably a dumb thing to say to a fan because you know we know there not really out there trying to hurt each other, it's a show, you know just like what these people watch (it's always most ironic coming from a fan of reality TV for obvious reasons). So yeah I wanted to have this disclaimer because a film involving a wrestler whether there amazing (The Princess Bride) or piss poor (so, so many) I'm likely going to get that enjoyment of seeing a wrestler in it.

So, Body Slam - it's took me a bit to actually get to about the movie I am mean't to be talking about, is a film I know I've seen from television showings back in the day but really my memory of it is all so fuzzy so in many ways it is a brand new watch for me.

And you know what I recognized it was a bad movie but it was very, very enjoyable - yes it's one of those films where professional wrestling is all real and is about M. Harry Smilac (Dirk Benedict), a struggling music producer, with one sole client (the rock band Kicks), he agrees to do a fundraiser for a politician and struggling to find acts he mistakes pro wrestler Rick Roberts (Roddy Piper) for a musican and hires him, he ends up finding out he's a pro wrestler and decides to stick with him and becomes a pro wrestling manager booking matches for Roberts and Tonga Tom (The Tonga Kid), the team are successful but clash with Rick's ex-manager Captain Lou Murano (played by Captain Lou Albano, proving they didn't strain too many brain cells with thinking of the names here). After Captain Lou's Cannibals team injure Harry and the wrestlers in a match where there where cheap shot, Harry wants to give it up but its on the idea of the "Rock N Wrestling" format for his tag-team and the band which end up becoming a huge success.

To add another word to bad - it's silly but it's got such charm, it's fun seeing a bunch of wrestlers in roles sometimes as characters (The Wild Samoans, The Barbarbian) or as themselves (Classy Freddie Blassie, Ric Flair and Bruno Sammartino and in the crowd in the finale). I think Piper showed he was a better actor then he does here but he's still decent enough, his niece his played by Kellie Martin, who went onto have an actual career - it's actually not clear why she is with her uncle like if something happened to her parents), Benedict is actually a likable lead and it's a shame he had no real leading roles once A-Team finished.

Some of the other none-wrestlers in roles including Tanya Roberts in a wasted role as the love interest, Charles Nelson Reilly, John Astin and Billy Barty as midget manager Tim McClusky who is entertaining despite what I will get to next.

I think I already covered this already or something similar, whilst appearing on Reilly's characters show (one of the most popular in America according to Piper's character not sure if he was taking the piss), the Barty character likes to use the term "faggot" as a slur, it's just something I personally disagree with, one person's sign in that crowd even has simply that.

Overall dumb, cheesy 80's fun, maybe it's my love of wrestling helps me enjoy that but I think people who don't like wrestling but like 80's cheese will enjoy this.

41 - The Cannonball Run

Connection To CITY HUNTER - Jackie Chan

"It's not what you do, it's how you do it..."

I touched on my childhood viewing habits a bit when I wrote about Police Academy 4, and despite my back then and still lack of interest about cars I loved The Cannonball Run films to bits. The first and second movie (Fever I never owned on video but saw more then one thanks to television) where watched multiple times and was a main reason for wanting me to watch All Dogs Go To Heaven in that it had the voices of Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise, the film though not big with the critics where loved and are still loved by me to this very day.

So The Cannonball Run's plot is simple as in it's about an illegal cross country race but it's more about the characters then the actual race, which I guess simple is plot you can say about a lot of the cross country race films, the reason being for a stash or money or competition is just get the array of characters racing against each other.

The characters - the main pair are JJ (Reynolds) and (DeLuise) who are riding an ambulance and dressed as paramedics with a real but crazy doctor (Jack Elam), these supposed heroes actually pretty much kidnap Farrah Fawcett and drug her up at point point, ah the 80's sure where different (see also Revenge Of The Nerds).Victor also has the memorable of superhero alter-ego of Captain Chaos

We also have Roger Moore, who was still James Bond plays Seymour who believes he's Roger Moore... not James Bond mind, you know because of copyright and all, he even gets Bond sound alike music aswell as a bevvy of different women and gadgets but if the lawyers are reading I repeat he is not James Bond, it's fun though seeing Moore make fun of himself especially in a time before it became a common occurrence.

Dean Martin looks drunk for most of the movie - and the fact it's Dean Martin I will assume he was and he teams up with Rat Pack pal Sammy Davis Jr. as Priests they make fun "arch-nemesis" to the J.J/Victor pair

Among others we also have Jackie Chan and Michael Hui play a Japanese race team because you know close enough, the pair of buxom lady drivers played by Adrienne Babreau and Tara Buckman who use there erm... assets to evade authority and Jamie Farr as The Sheik (who is the only character who appears in all 3 movies) are the more standout other racers.

I think Elam as Doctor Van Helsing steals the show for me every time he's on screen he is hilarious whatever he does, another one of my favourite scenes involves The Sheik ordering fast food.

The absolute worst thing for me in the movie is Reynolds referring to Davis Jr. as a "Chocoalte Monk" feels so outdated for me now and sticks out as a negative against the movie.

The ending doesn't make sense when you think about it, the cannonballers all race towards the finish line on foot to see who gets there first however, the race is done by punching a clock with the time on and getting it punched at the other end and the scene earlier in the movie takes over 5 minutes so those that "win" probably don't especially since they are not the last to leave

Overall even after all these years I still find joy in this movie, across this movie and the second I enjoy spending time with the characters and maybe because you don't spend too long it makes the films speed by (damn me and puns lately).

P.S. this could be the answer to a trivia question - what film does Jackie Chan fight Peter Fonda?

40 - City Hunter

Connection To FIREPOWER - Gary Daniels

City Hunter stands out from the usual Jackie Chan films of this time period - and I don't necessarily mean that in a good way - the comedy is more broader then usual and the violence is is stronger - the Chan classics often get a fairer mix of the two...

I think this is a lot to do with the director Wong Jing - known as Hong Kong's Roger Corman - from other Jing films feature a similar violence/comedy tone which doesn't always sit well - this must also be the only film where Chan is also an out-and-out lecherous perv.

Ryo (Chan) and Kaori (Joey Wang) are assigned to locate the runaway daughter of a prominent CEO, Kaori leaves partway through this search because he is not returning the romantic feelings for her - this iffy for one reason, Kaori is the daughter of Ryo's ex partner who he raised from a child... so yeah - the runaway daughter end sup boarding a luxury cruise liner with a ticket she found and Kaori also boards with her horny cousin as Ryo sneaks on board. At the same time a terrorist group led by Donald Mac (Richard Norton) plan to hijack the ship and take rich passengers hostage.

Yeah, that plot doesn't do it justice in how goofy as hell it is - Chan spends part of the film absolutely starving and imagines female body parts as food, there's also 2 goofs in the movie - DJ's Soft and Hard who are bearable and if they had more screen time could have certainly being annoying.

There is some course being a Jackie Chan film some excellent action scenes, a stand out is in the ship's movie theatre while Game Of Death is playing, Chan getting help using Lee moves from the screen he is watching and excellent.

But perhaps the most famous scene is in the ship's arcade, where the characters became characters from Street Fighter II, we get Gary Daniels making a good ken but we get Jackie Chan as first Honda but then an amazing Chun Li (he's still third best in pretty Chun Li's on the big screen though), it's a very cool scene, the only sad thing is really that Chan and Daniels only on screen fight scene is here and that they didn't get a chance to do a proper one.

Director Wong Jing later did the movie High Risk, which starred Jet Li and Jacky Cheung in which Li played a stuntman for the phoney action hero Cheung, who is a thinly veiled take on Chan, guess there experiences with working with each other where bad and at one point it even insinuates that the Cheung character as a child's penis.

Overall it's such fun so the positives outweigh the negatives for me so it's worth... (puts on shades)... giving it a Chance

39 - Firepower

Connection To SPY HARD - Hulk Hogan appeared (briefly) in Spy Hard, Firepower stars another wrestler The Ultimate Warrior - the two fought in the main event of Wrestlemania VI, I'm not allowed to use a wrestler to wrestler link from now on.

This past Tuesday, The Ultimate Warrior (Jim Hellwig) walking to his car suffered an heart attack and passed away at the all too young age of 54. This was shocking for a number reasons... The Ultimate Warrior had not appeared for the WWE (then WWF) since 1996, it was only that Saturday UW accepted and was inducted into the WWE Hall Of Fame marking his first appearence with the company in 18 years, the day after he appeared on stage at Wrestlemania and on the Monday on RAW he came to the ring and delivered a speech even eerily talking about a heart beating a last beat, the positive is a long-standing gripe was eradicated and UW died in a good place with the company.

Firepower I watch in tribute to a guy though I disagreed with his politics (a lot), was entertaining has a wrestler (technical skill give way to intensity - but he had more then one great match in his career) and marks the only film role he took.

Released in 1993 and set in the then way off future of 2007! though to be fair there is nothing futuristic, I think it was set 14 years so the world could go to crap a bit more and the LA of this film as an extremely high crime rate and even as an area in the city called the "Hell Zone" which is just a place from criminals to do the criminal stuff with no police and is also home to a place called The Death Ring (which is more violent then usual MMA) in which Braniff (Chad McQueen) and Sledge (Gary Daniels) go undercover in to bring down the corrupt who have a role in the production of AIDS vaccines on the black market.

This is DTV cheese no doubt about it and with McQueen and Daniels in the leads it felt like they couldn't scream more DTV action if they tried. The performances are... well... I'm sure Gary Daniels would tell you himself he is not the best actor in the world, his appeal his what he can do physically (hello ladies) but he does appear to be having fun with the cheese of this film (which by extension so do you) and despite their acting talents, he and McQueen do actually have good chemistry.

This is the sort of DTV action that wants to keep outdoing itself set piece wise because plot is just an excuse, how would I put it, it's the sort of film that flings everything at a wall and just see what sticks. It seems to owe stuff to a number of films that went before but it's got it's charm.

Ultimate Warrior as The Swordsman actually brings good intensity to his role, which is not a surprise really if you ever watched one of his wrestling promos - which where never of the sane variety - perfect casting as far as I'm concerned.

Overall, it's never boring and it's a pretty cool DTV action flick, it never takes itself too seriously and it recommended for connoisseurs of this type of movie.

38 - Spy Hard

Connection To SOME GUY WHO KILLS PEOPLE - Barry Bostwick

Like it our not, Spy Hard at least in part will go down in history as the first film written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, who where 2 of the 4 writers on board, who will go down in history for their infamous spoofs Date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie and more recently The Starving Games (watching the trailer was enough for me) which parody sometimes the genre there meant to be but whatever's popular in pop culture at the moment - "Miley Cyrus" and "Amy Winehouse" have appeared - and their film parodies are often what they call shallow parodies, many people put them below Uwe Boll in the crimes against cinema list.

So what is a film like that people saw before Friedberg and Seltzer where known as the Antichrists - well looking back now there's references to films of the mid-90s but the year they pool the references is a bit wider (years wise) then some of there later stuff - there's parodies of Speed, Home Alone, Sister Act and In The Line Of Fire - among others and the movies spoofs James Bond obviously, which is weird because Bond is a film that never took itself too seriously.

Spy Hard is a mix of comedy that is funny at times but then plenty of jokes can be seen a mile off, you can tell they tried to do what worked for Naked Gun or Airplane among others but the writing just isn't up to ZAZ quality, Leslie Nielsen a veteran of them movies is obviously a plus playing the role serious and it's hard to dislike a spoof if he's the one doing it. 

I think my opinion when I first saw it did as a spy spoof that was until Austin Powers came along which was gut bustingly funny (which obviously didn't know was coming at the time).

Overall Friedberg and Seltzer hadn't developed the bad habits (for films that continued to be bewilderingly successful) so this is better then that pact (save the next film they wrote for Scary Movie) and the groans to laugh ratio way outweighs any of them.